So, this update we’re going to try something completely different here at Tongue In Beak. I have Red here with me to help describe some of the ways these guys make such great pets.
TIB: For those just tuning in, Red, can you tell them what species of bird you are?
Red: Squawk chirp, screech, squawk…
TIB: Umm… I’m afraid we have a bit of a communications problem here, let me see if I can solve this… Can we get a translator? Anyone? Can anyone translate?!
Coco: Hello… I can.
TIB: And you are?
Coco: Coco. I’m an African Grey. Or, as I prefer – Psittacus erithacus.
TIB: Can you translate for Red?
Coco: I’ve lived with him for years, I should hope so!
TIB: Right then, the question is, what species of bird are you?
Red (translated by Coco): An Amazon… or as he’s really called, a Red-Crowned Amazon, or Amazona viridigenalis.
TIB: You’re new at this, aren’t you Coco?
Coco: Sorry, never had reason to give an interview before…. (Looks around nervously)
TIB: What’s wrong?
Coco: Nothing, I just thought that cabinet door was going to open up and eat me for a second there.
Coco: Anyhow, I’ve never been interviewed before.
TIB: We’ll cover the most important ground rule then – you speak directly for Red, got it? That means no corrections or re-translations.
Coco: Ok, got it.
TIB: Now, Red. Can you tell us a little about yourself, so the readers get to know the real you?
Red: I lived with a person who had a lot of us. I mean loads… tons! Birds in every corner of her house! (head ducks and eyes pin)
TIB: That sounds horrible! How did you get out of there?
Red: A group came and told her she couldn’t live like that and took us away.
TIB: So now you live here?
Red: With Coco, Pablo, Squeaker, Kiku, Tasha, Blaze, MOMMY and the thing.
TIB: The… what?
Red: Thing, you know… (tail flares again)
TIB: Oh I see… and the others, who are they?
Red: A little quiet guy, an obnoxious “close talker”, a little runt, brainiac here, the mop and the fuzz ball.
TIB: I… um… Coco, could you translate?
Coco: But you said I should only talk for…
TIB: Forget what I said Coco, help me out here!
Coco: Well, in that case, he means… Pablo, the Senegal, Squeaker, the Indian Ringneck, Kiku, the Caique, me, and the two dogs who are Tasha and Blaze.
TIB: And mommy and the thing?
Coco: I assume he means you and your wife?
TIB: Right, well that figures… Sounds like you really like this “mommy” person.
Red: Oh yes! Mommy is the greatest person of all time! Mommy is my one and only soul mate! I can’t live without Mommy!
TIB: Back on subject now. Red, would you please tell the readers what makes parrots such wonderful pets!
Red: Well, we love getting up really early and making sure everyone else is alive and well by screaming REALLY LOUD.
We just adore the furniture you buy, so much so that we need to find out how it’s made and what it feels like in our beaks.
We really do like to talk, we’re what you call “conversationalists” and just love carrying on conversations all the time… especially when you talk into that funny little box you hold.
We’re really intelligent and really do like figuring out how things work, like our cage doors, wall-boards, water bowls, floor-boards, window sills and soft stuff you put on the floors.
TIB: You mean, carpet… that soft stuff covering the floors?
Red: Yep, that stuff!
TIB: So, in other words you: Like to tear things up just to see what they’re made of. Wake up the entire house at the crack of dawn just because you can. Make constant noise at the least opportune times. And have fun destroying your cage, our house and anything you can reach?
Red: Well, yes… of course!
Red: Wait… did I just hear? (feather’s start to stand out)
TIB: Oh no… that look!
Red: Mommy! Mommy’s home! Mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy! Mommy, in here! Mommy mommy mommy! (body vibrates in pure excitement)
TIB: Red! I… can’t… hear… any… RED! STOP IT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD… RED… SHUT UP!!!
Editors note: We apologize for the sudden outburst. This interview has been postponed due to technical difficulties, please stand by.